Barry John Williams' Blog

Whilst randomly flicking through XKCD and came along the following cartoon which reminded me of something which happened a few years ago to myself:



Sometime in February 2003 (possibly 18th Feb):

Came in from work at 6:30, sat down to watch Star Trek on BBC2. After Star Trek, realised I was hungry and had a look in the cupboards, not much selection, but enough to make a nutritious meal. But, no bread, that means no breakfast tomorrow and no packed lunch - I could go to Safeway to buy a takeaway curry, a few bits of frozen food and some bread. Right off I go.

7:30pm:
Safeway - pick up a full basket load of stuff, buy it and catch the train back home. No keys. I left them on the desk in the flat, ok, spare keys, on the bottom shelf of the TV Cabinet, damn. Ok, phone a friend, battery is dead on phone, don't know any phone numbers....

8:10pm:
Right, back to Safeway - sorry we are shut - ok then. Get back to flat, security door locked. Leave food in garden, get neighbour to buzz me in. Try to break in using movie tricks, failed. Ok, to the police station. "Sorry, gone are the days we can break your door in, but here is the phone number of someone who will". Hmmm

9:30pm:
(Brainwave). All my phone numbers are stored on my work machine which is switched on and running VNC. Need to find somebody with an internet connection - VMLs technical directory, excellent. Internet connection not working properly.... found a computer that works. The "2" key and "w" key not working, both are required for connecting to computer - use desktop icons as a resource for "cut and paste" to create URL and Password. Connected. Phone friend and arrange to stay over.

10:30pm:
Collect frozen shopping from Garden and take it to friends house. At last somewhere to sleep. I left the tinned food and pizza in the garden. I made sure that I left it in the back garden which doesn't get the morning sun, therefore remaining cold from the nights frost!!

8:30am:
Go to letting agents, agency has moved to a different location. Ok then, walk some more. "We don't hold the keys here you'll have to go to our head office in Canniesburn Toll". Right, begin long walk to East Dumbartonshire (found a bus that goes there, hoorah).

10:40am:
Finally I get back in. And food is still in the garden!!

Labels: aboutme, humour

Just bought "Crunch", a game from TerrorBull games (who also make War on Terror), the description of this game is:

As the CEO of a global bank, it's your personal responsibility to do whatever it takes to ensure a comfortable retirement.

Would make my payment method quite appropriate then!!

Labels: coolstuff, games, humour

I found this cartoon quite funny; someone clearly didn't read this before allowing Britain to sleepwalk into the surveillance state it now is.

Do Not Discard Brain Article on Boing Boing

"In case of terrorist attack, do not discard Brain" Poster Original Source (includes printable PDF)

Labels: humour, politics

The Large Hadron Collider is being switched on tomorrow for it's search for the Higgs Boson. To celebrate this - I've linked to XKCD's cartoon about the LHC:



Maybe the pessimists will be right, so I've posted this the day before 'just in case'.

Labels: event, humour

Just bought a copy of the War on Terror boardgame which appears to be getting suppressed by shops and powers that be... apparently MPs have reported it has crossed the line of what is acceptable. Obviously children playing computer games where they can hire hookers and shoot firemen is acceptable!

Looks to be a fun game - though the police clearly don't, they confiscated a copy from some climate activists last week.

From the site:

WAR ON TERROR, THE BOARDGAME: It's got suicide bombers, political kidnaps and intercontinental war. It's got filthy propaganda, rampant paranoia and secret treaties and the Axis of Evil is a spinner in the middle of the board.

http://www.waronterrortheboardgame.com/

Labels: games, humour, politics

SDIM0758.jpg
Originally uploaded by andi808.

Great shot posted on Flickr! Originally found it on BoingBoing where one commenter referred to it as "Blair's Column".

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/05/28/cctv-versus-admiral.html

Labels: humour, politics

Labels: humour

This is "Joy of Tech" comic for the passing of Netscape made me chuckle!

Labels: humour

It's a shame this 'GPS Letter Logger' was only posted on Engadget yesterday, perhaps someone should send this to Alistair Darling anyway. Sounds like just the thing he could've been doing with...

Hindsight - who'd be without it?

Labels: gadgets, humour, politics

Labels: apple, humour, microsoft

Steve Jobs seems to have manage a massive PR bonus by offering $100 to all early iPhone customers. The Joy of Tech has taken his letter out of context and rewritten it as if it was his first!

Brilliant:

Labels: apple, humour

Something told me not to post this joke, but what the hell!

What's worse than letting Michael Jackson look after your kids?
Letting the McCanns take them on holiday!

See, told you it was bad! In a similar vein as the other I heard:

Renault has just released a brand new people carrier - apparently it's so large, you can lose your kids in it! This wondrous car? The Renault McCann...

Sorry to all you McCann supporters out there!

Labels: humour

Labels: humour, movie, video

Well not actually - a publicity stunt for the Simpsons Movie has enraged Pagans as their fertility symbol in Dorset (Cerne Abbas) has been "disrespected".

They are currently doing a rain dance to wash poor Homer away as unlike Cerne Abbas, he's been painted in a biodegradable paint that washes away once it rains!

Originally found in The Daily Telegraph

Labels: art, humour, simpsons

The same year that brought you Blade Runner also brought us this $20000 (Twenty Thousand dollar) exercise cycle which "amalgamates a superior, industrial quality LaserDisc player with a video disc, a 45" rear screen video projector, and the Lifecycle electronic bicycle/aerobic trainer." Wow!!!

This "surrogate travelling" monstrosity gives you a whole 2 hours of tours, meaning it was probably possible to fly to these places and actually cycle this tours for less than the cost of this device!

Wow!

Original article found on BoingBoing

Labels: coolstuff, gadgets, historical, humour

IMG_1667
Originally uploaded by Michael Bates.

On June 15, 1957, a time capsule and a Plymouth Belvedere were buried in a vault next to the Tulsa County Courthouse. On June 15, 2007, the car and the capsule were exhumed and unveiled.

What a shame! They probably had high hopes in '57 this would work, especially since they coated it in rust preservatives! Let's hope they do it again, but this time try to stop the seepage of ground water!

Originally found on this BoingBoing post.

Labels: coolstuff, humour, video

I though this was really funny. I read this keynote on Engadget's and MacRumours' live blogs as with the last few keynotes Jobs has performed. All of these apart from the most recent I've watched again online when it was released. I never watched the June 2007 one... When announcing the new features I found myself shouting at my screen 'You said that last year you arse'. Boy am I sad.

So I found this cartoon funny:


(Click it to read it properly)

Labels: apple, humour

I received this advert in my email from Pixmania advertising a Car Radio sale!



WOW! Like I've never done that before...

I did chuckle a little!

Labels: humour

Well, maybe not fever or excitement. Rather than blurt out my political thoughts and indicate who I'll be voting for - I thought I'd poke some fun at the election leaflets which got forcefully thrust through my letterbox yesterday morning. I'm also doing a postal vote, so I get a sneak preview at all those smaller parties you know nothing about until the big day - Scotland Against Crooked Lawyers party anyone?

First off, there is Richard Sullivan - Glasgow Baillieston candidate for the Scottish Conservatives, he lives nowhere near Baillieston, managed to spell the name wrong and waffles about how the Town Centre needs regenerating! Baillieston "town centre" is a street of maybe 20 or 30 shops, mainly takeaways and estate agents plus a couple of each type of shop including greengrocers and butchers with a Lidl and Morrisons right at the end. I actually thought it was doing rather well myself - not a single closed or out of place shop with new ones opening every month or so... Secondly he goes on about the need for "people here in Baillieston" to "deserve to be able to walk their streets at night". This confirmed it - he's never been here at night - In the couple of years I've lived here I've never seen a single problem! I might take him up on his offer to give me a lift to the Polls - might actually get him to see the area!

The other amusing leaflet was from David Jackson - candidate for the Scottish Liberal Democrats. Inside he waffles on about making Scotland, greener, safer, increasing health care and making young people matter. It's this last one I found amusing as the headline is sitting right next to the following picture:



That looks like a young person putting a Buckfast bottle in (presumably) a recycle bin. Are they encouraging young people to drink - or just be responsible enough to recycle their Buckie bottles after consuming them?

Another leaflet posted through my door doesn't bitch about other parties or offer to give pensioners more money. They simply state:

• No to Anti-Social Behaviour
• No to More Bogus Asylum Seekers
• No to More Immigration
• No to Being the Sick Man of Europe
• Yes to Long Term Sustainable Jobs
• Yes to More Police
• Yes to Better Quality Housing
• Yes to Education that Works
• Yes to a Better NHS
• Yes to a Cleaner, Greener Environment

Hmmm.

Well - I'm fairly sure Labour will get in again, but hopefully not. I'm posting away my vote soon and maybe it'll make an iota of a difference.

Labels: election 2007, humour, politics

Discovered this link on the net which I found quite interesting! It's a robot with four axis of movement and programmed to respond to the rhythm of music in a human way.

They have two videos on the site and they are spookily amusing to watch! The robot really does dance to the music and quite well too...

Found it originally on BoingBoing
Direct link to the article

Labels: coolstuff, gadgets, humour

Click on the image to make it larger.

Labels: computers, humour

I get really frustrated with the number of calls I get from indian call centres and it appears Dom Joly does too. I watched this episode of Happy Hour last night and found it hilarious as Dom Joly puts a small spanner in the works during an Intelenet English phonetics training session by introducing some alternative words!

Labels: humour, video

On January 25th Palm OS was renamed to Garnet OS. I'm an avid Palm OS user and have used those devices for years right back from my very first (and still working) Palmpilot Pro! Unfortunately, over the last 2 years or so there hasn't been any real progress with the OS, especially when compared with Windows Mobile. I still prefer my Treo 680 over all the WM devices I've seen!

However, on reading this article on Palm InfoCenter about the name change, I thought the day's tear-off Dilbert cartoon was particularly apt!

Labels: humour

This video took up 12 valuable minutes of my time and quite frankly I'd like those back... However, it was compulsive viewing.

Basically it's about a company needing to get a document out ASAP and one of the workers uses Windows/386 to get the job done with retorts from her colleagues 'that's not OS/2' and 'but that looks like 1-2-3'... It's all pretty horrid stuff.

I've got 4 applications running each with it's own 8086 machine with 640K memory.

Try that with Vista!

Watch the Windows 386 Promotional Video on Google Video

Labels: humour, video

Why on earth do they put these types of graphics on a toy??? Basically a Chinese company has produced what looks like quite a good toy, but the instructions on the box and the graphics are quite funny.

My favourite is the "Don't hit yourself for not buying something else" guess when baffled with an icon instruction.

Post on BoingBoing
Original Article

Labels: coolstuff, humour

Today marks the 300th Anniversary of the Acts of Union 1707 (Wikipedia Article) between Scotland and England.

Apparently there are lot's of celebrations up and down the UK celebrating this day - I haven't heard about any around around Glasgow however... Glasgow City Council certainly doesn't advertise any related events.

Perhaps England choose to celebrate this more than those in Scotland?

This all reminds me of a joke I like:

A man decided to write a book about churches around the UK. He started by flying to London, and started working from there.

Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign which read "£1,000 a minute."

Seeking out the vicar he asked about the phone and the sign. The vicar answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the vicar and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches in Kent, Surrey, Lincolnshire, Derbyshire, Yorkshire, Lancashire, Northumberland, and all around the UK, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each vicar.

Finally, he arrived in Scotland. Upon entering a church in Glasgow, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read: "Calls: 10p."

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the vicar. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in England the cost is £1,000 a minute - your charge is only 10p. How can this be?"

The vicar, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Scotland now... it's a local call".

Link to What's on in Glasgow

Labels: humour

I find this linked BoingBoing article quite amusing and constructive of the Royal Mail to be able to deliver a christmas card in nine days using only a sketched map and a name!

Labels: humour

Flickr! has a cool 'Easter Egg' which allows you to draw a santa hat and beard as notes on any image on flickr! I've added a santa hat to one of my photos of Bruno and a photo of me (pictured).

All you need to do is add a note 'ho ho ho hat' for instant 'hatisfaction' or 'ho ho ho beard' for instant beardification!


Found this on BoingBoing

Labels: christmas, flickr, humour

Received this via a text message...

23 People have been found glued to the walls of a train station in Dublin. Police believe that Irish Muslims have set off the world's first 'No More Nails' bomb!

View this page for a more Christian version.

Labels: humour